4 Malay Guys robbed me in front of my house at Damansara Kim.

AP: Four malay guys attacked me, took my phone and wallet. Gave them a good fight but i see they hit my head with a spanner. Bugger. Well at least I don’t have to work this week.

Eva (Godsis): o.o! u ok bro?! anyting major? n u better b more careful!

AP: Mei i am getting my wounds dressed. This incident happened in front of my house.

Bram: Wtf. Holy shit. Get well soon dude.

AP: I think i will be okay. Someone needs to fight back or these dudes will go on robbing forever.

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Elena: OUCH!!! I’m sorry Abraham. I hope you get well soon. Do take care of yourself.

Just a thought…You can still get these materials (money, wallet, phone, etc) but there’s only one you. And your presence makes a difference to people around you. Please do not let yourself be harmed this way again, it’s not worth it. Let karma or their lessons take its course.

AP: It’s easy to say but surrender could have led to far worse things. They may have demanded entry into the house. Or attacked anyway. Thugs are to be fought, not to be reasoned with.

Kuan Chee Heng (Community Police):Where it happened? We will like to know more details?

AP: Kuan SS20/3 Damansara Kim, 4 malay guys in bikes, two carrying spanner, 2 unarmed. Motorcycle does not have plates on it and they dont wear helmet.

Kuan Chee Heng (Community Police): Ben J Yeo please move fast and we need to hunt down those bastards. We need the aps real soon. In this case if we can track the location of the phone, we can get those heartless bastards. If these bastards do not have mercy on us, why shall we have mercy on them. He was robbed by 4 Malay boys of his hand phone and wallet. His head was bashed by a spanner and that blow may kill him. So do you think we shall have mercy on any criminals? If you want us to have mercy on you, STAY OUT OF CRIME

AP: Just to give everyone an update, I am bandaged and will recover. Head wounds are stitched and no serious injury to any part of the body. Jin Yeow escorted me to PPUM last night thank you Yeow.

I managed to dodge most of their kicks and punches by frequently shifting stances and keeping my center of gravity. They also tried to hook my legs but I countered with a central chest push to knock one away. He fell into the drain.

The robbers ran after some neighbors came out of the house. The police arrived half a minute later. So I am mostly unharmed except for superficial wounds here and there.

The blunt force of the spanner created two 1.5cm x 1.5cm gashes on my forehead. They have been treated by Adzim (MA of PPUM). It will need medical redressing for a week and the stitch will be removed on 25 March.

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Neighbors are very helpful they borrowed their phones to block all my cards and phone line, which i performed immediately after the robbers left. Also gave me three cups of water. Police also very helpful. Doctors at PPUM a bit slow there are a lot of cases.

I asked my mother and sister not to worry and just stay at home and sleep soundly while I settle everything. I brought my laptop with me so I can change every password to my accounts. Jin Yeow accompanied me up to 2.30am in PPUM. I was not warded but Yeow sent me home.

Ean: Good job JY! You too be alert and careful while on your way home from working late ya!

Irwin: be careful KL is like Manila now it seems.

 

How the Year of the Snake ended

So my family found this bugger in my kitchen. Hiding behind a rock it seems.
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My mom and my sis were hyperventilating but i just told them to get out of the kitchen while i snap some photos, because it ain’t everyday that a snake comes to visit.

My 80+ year old kao kung strongly supported this decision. “Of course we must take pictures first”. He wanted to fight the snake too, but i didnt let him.

The little creature was very still, so i looked through the various kitchen utensils until at last i came upon what might do the trick. A rusty long nose plier, thin enough to fit, strong enough to wound.

Felt no fear whatsoever, just a calm curiosity and enough cattiness to pounce while maintaining a safe distance. Mentally went through what i remember about snakes.

Got myself a pair of slippers too.

Told my mom (who had just noticed a lot of dirt under the cabinet) that sweeping the floor right now was probably not a good idea. Because apparently her desire to clean things was bigger than fear of the same snake that sent her screaming and running away only a few minutes ago.

“You can sweep the floor later.”
“But its dirty.”
“Yes, and soon there will be blood on the floor as well.”
“But that would make it even dirtier.”
“Go away mom.”

I tapped the snake out of its crevice with the long nose, then as it slithered, i used the flashlight app on my phone to locate it under the kitchen cabinet. Repeated strikes did not do much damage, until i pulled it into the open.

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Allowing a crippling blow to the midsection, just under the neck, disabling three quarters of the body. It continued squirming, but i found its head, and flattened it.

Identification shows it to be either a harmless black garden snake or a baby cobra, but i’m no snake expert man, i just kill ‘em to be safe rather than sorry.

Its not a difficult fight, as long as you keep your head and remove its head. Afterwards don’t poke its head either. Snakeheads can still strike up to 36 hours after death. Something all cats should know.

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And with that, the year of the Snake came to an end. Double wrapped in a red plastic bag and sent to the dustbin. Still moving but just reflex action.

Don’t worry so much.

The Dating Job Interview

40-year old male with stable income: Hi, it says here in your resume that you are “searching for a life partner”.

37-year old single female: Yes. *sheepish*

40-year old male with stable income: May I know the reasons you are applying for this job?

37-year old single female: Well, I would like to start a family, preferably with a nice guy, decent, takes care of me, doesn’t have to be the most handsome, as long as…

40-year old male with stable income: So when can you start work?

37-year old single female: Umm, well…I don’t know, maybe one, two years, just be friends first, get to know each other better.

40-year old male with stable income: I’m a busy man. You should start immediately.

37-year old single female: Oh.

40-year old male with stable income: So what skills do you bring to the table?

37-year old single female: Well, I like to cook for my lover, and I’m smart, not just looks, you know. I have a PHD and I like classical music…oh, are you into classical music as well?

40-year old male with stable income: No, I need to know if you have actual. Job. Experience.

37-year old single female: Previous boyfriends? Well I had a few, but they didn’t work out.

40-year old male with stable income: You have a ten year gap in your resume.

37-year old single female: Yes, I stopped dating for awhile. Just wanted to find myself, you know. Build my career. Travel round the world. And just wait for the right one to pop into my life!

40-year old male with stable income: It doesn’t look good on your resume.

37-year old single female: Well I, um, didn’t find anyone suitable enough.

40-year old male with stable income: Before that you changed employment quite quickly. Your relationships didn’t last for more than a few months.

37-year old single female: *is quiet*

40-year old male with stable income: So, let me brief you on the terms and conditions of this job. There will be food allowance, subject to standard rate. Extra you pay yourself. If you move in, you can save some cost. The working hours start from 9pm, and I will brief you more about your tasks during the orientation.

37-year old single female: So does this mean I get chosen?

40-year old male with stable income: I will let u know the results of your interview once HR has finalized. You understand we will be doing a background check on your financial history, especially past purchases and credit statement. Standard procedure.

37-year old single female: Wah. So formal. Of course.

40-year old male with stable income: Ok one last question. If you were stuck on a tropical island, what three things would you take with you?

37-year old single female: My husband, kids, and a fridge full of food and drinks!

40-year old male with stable income: Alright, that is a good answer. We will wrap up this session for today. *extends handshake*

37-year old single female: You have my number. Call me maybe?

40-year old male with stable income: I will let u know if there’s good news.

My middle aged workaholic friend recently found his first girlfriend. The story above is *not* how they met, but I like to think it was. Because he’s so serious everytime.

Move over, Newton. It’s time for Einstein

If you saw the world as Einstein did, you would know just how improper the understanding of your world is. Newton was the man of common sense – apple fell down on me, therefore gravity. I jump and I fall, therefore physics.

Everything we know about gravity is wrong.

Albert Einstein, died 1955, is usually attributed to the creation of E=mc2 (a formula that most remember, few understand) and also the nuclear bomb (false). What he really did discover was a new way to perceive reality, and his ideas are still so difficult to understand that we still learn the incorrect version of Newton’s physics. What those textbooks should have done, is to stop teaching Physics. Newton gives people a false comfort about the world that truly is.

Einstein tells us the universe is mad.

Behold the true face of reality.

What if I told you that gravity does not suck? Gravity did not pull the apple onto Newton’s head. Because there is no such thing as gravity. No such thing as time. Not in the way you, or Newton, understand it.

Falling down, getting up. When I jump, am I moving away from Earth? Or is the planet running away from me? What if I told you that none of these things happened?

Einstein says that space is an uneven surface, like those maps from Geography. It has invisible lines, curved around heavy objects. The more massive the object, the bigger the curvature.

As a mountain creates the steepest slopes, so does the heaviest object (Earth) creates the biggest curves in spacetime near us.

We cannot see these invisible lines because our eyes cannot perceive time. These lines, you see, are four dimensional. Each square in the grid is not just a piece of space, but also, a piece of time.

Orbits

When a GPS satellite is orbiting, it is not actually being pulled by Earth. Earth is not doing anything, except sitting on its behind (there’s another word for it – I think it starts with an ‘A’). Earth’s behind is making curves in space and time. The earth is round, so those curves are round. Makes sense?

The satellite is moving along those rounded curves like a train track. There is no air friction in outer space, so it can do this forever.

Falling down and Getting up

Can’t climb this!

The nearer you get to Earth, the steeper those curves are. Due to the steepness, everything is sliding towards the ground. They’re not being pulled by invisible forces. They’re just moving across a surface we cannot see. Earth created a giant dimple in space and time. Everything is moving logically to the base of the well. It’s just like water flowing downstream from a mountain.

Can water move upwards? Obviously not, it needs to use energy. It takes no energy (but a lot of pain) to roll down a mountain, but it takes a lot of energy to climb it. If our legs were strong enough, we can actually jump into outer space. Sadly, I don’t think our legs have quite enough energy for that climb.

Zero Gravity

There’s no such thing as gravity, really. It’s all just curves in space and time.

As you get further from Earth, the curvature becomes less and less. Eventually, spacetime is as flat as a waffle. (Mmm, waffle.) There is no longer any tendency to slide in any direction. Up, down, left, right. Whatever you wish, human.

Whatever!

Black Holes

When a star has gone mad, it forms a cone in the surrounding space and time, also known as a black hole. Black holes are obviously not black; we just see them that way because everything that went in, including light, cannot come back out. The curve is just too steep that even something as light as light is trapped. We can’t see anything, so the hole appears black.

Going inside a black hole is not advisable, because you can’t get out. Likewise, the same is true of a certain religion famous around here. But not to leave this topic. Newton’s wrong. Einstein’s right. Gravity is a myth. Curves in spacetime are real. Stop believing in 3o0-year old fairytales.

Religion is *gasp* not about morality

Every time I hear the canard, “all religions teach the same thing”, I chuckle. You have made a serious mistake, folks, if you think that religion has *anything* to do with morality, loving your fellow brother, or becoming a better person. Religion has nothing to do with goodness. It has everything to do about God.

Morals are fruits, my brother. Religions are trees. A tree produces fruits so that animals (us) will eat the fruit and then pass the seeds around.

Plant me! Plant me!

Having ripe and juicy fruits (great moral teachings) is not the only strategy for reproduction, but it is only one of the strategies available to the cunning tree. Therefore, you will be mistaken to think that all religions have great moral teachings. They don’t, because morality is a side focus. A religion can have lousy or even evil morals, but still spread because:

  1. It murders non-believers
  2. It stops believers from leaving
  3. It isolates believers from non-believers
  4. It teaches people to stop thinking
  5. It wraps itself around layers of false reasoning
  6. It evangelizes emotionally
  7. It uses social networks and human governments as vectors
  8. Society was/is evil

Tactics which, if one is honest, have been used by nearly all religions throughout history. Because fuzzily, these tactics work better than merely having good ideas.

So let’s get to the chase. Religion is a numbers game. It is about having more people believe that your God and ideas are real. It is about trash talking the competition so that less people believe their God and ideas are real. It is about pretending to like other religions so your believers don’t murder their believers and start a lose-lose holy war. So there’s love. There’s universal brotherhood. But only a tactical love, and tactical brotherhood, to be discarded on a moment’s notice when aggression is…preferable.

Religion is a competitive market

So let’s not beat around the bush. Religions are not about morals, and they are not equally moral either. We have a choice and we need to choose. Our choices matter, because if we “side” with a bad religion, it gains strength. Even if our father and mother practiced that religion, we must still leave it.

We can choose to be atheists, but atheists lack mobilization and institutional strength. They are just a bunch of disagreeable freethinkers who cannot even agree with each other. The best opponent to a bad religion is a good religion. We need religions, because we need the good religions to defeat the bad religions. Gosh, I sound like a cartoon comic strip.

A good religion to beat up the bad religions

Competition between religions is healthy. We should not let any religion form a law to prevent its own members from leaving / commit apostasy. To do so is cheating. Yes, one particular faith that shall remain nameless is doing it. It cheats. And you know what they say about cheaters.

We ultimately want to have a healthy garden of good, good, religions. But we cannot have it until we are willing to look at the naughty faiths in the eye. And call them out for their sins against mankind. To the religions that apologize and reform, it is good. There is no point bringing up the past. But to the religions that persist in their evil ways, we need to bring unto them a sledgehammer and wreck their unholy temples to the ground.

How the Jews say it?

This is what you are to do to them: Break down their altars, smash their sacred stones, cut down their Asherah poles and burn their idols in the fire. (Deut 7:5)

Let’s be honest. If everyone continues to treat religion like a sacred cow; unquestionable and unchangeable, then religion will always be a lazy cow preoccupied with the correct way of eating grass. What we need to do is question and change. It’s not unholy. It’s not ungodly. It’s necessary, and it will whip religion into a tasty burger we can eat without getting sick to the stomach.

Abraham Penrose is a deeply religious man

A wounded tiger

tiger and cat

A wounded tiger,

Whose scars have healed,

But is damaged, inside,

Surveys the land.

 

It does not need to hide,

But is never seen,

Cannot be found,

Unless it wants to.

 

It marks the forest,

With traces of its victims,

Moves swiftly and silently,

No baggage from the past.

 

Surely, to befriend a wounded tiger,

Is a great folly,

To seek help from one,

Is even worse.

 

But some have trusted,

The wounded tiger,

Walked right in,

With arms of hope.

 

“I am safe”, they say,

“It will protect me”, they think.

The claws that hunt,

Are the paws that protect.

 

Perhaps they are right,

Perhaps the tiger is wrong,

To ferocity, the tiger responds with ferocity,

But to kindness, it melts.

 

Great promise and great danger,

They come together,

The tiger needs to eat,

But it also needs to love.